Space Hell Sex Bunny

by Rhune Kincaid

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about

This album comes straight out of the comedy club, into a studio and then out onto an mp3 on the internet just for you. Thrill to the full-band versions of the songs from Rhune's live, acoustic comedy show, including "iPhone," "Space/Time Continuum" and "Hetero-Strike" and eleven more hilarious tracks.

credits

released April 21, 2009

All Songs by Rhune Kincaid
Produced by j_sleuth & Rhune Kincaid
iPhone mixed by Ryan Young and Rhune Kincaid
Photo by Thea Pueschel

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Track Name: So Full of Love
I'm so full of love,
I'm bursting at the seams
I'm so full of love,
Won't somebody take some away from me?

'Cuz if I don't get laid,
I'll explode,
And then this whole place
Is gonna be me à la mode

I'm so full of love,
I'm bursting at the seams
I'm so full of love,
I think I'm gonna need a loveotomy

'Cuz if I don't get laid,
I'll explode,
And then this restaurant
Is gonna serve me à la mode

I'm so full of love
What about you?
Are you full too?
I thought dinner was great,
Now what do you want to do?
Track Name: iPhone
I'll pay 4 the show
Even though
I don't like shows
Especially the shows that u like to go to

So tonight do me
This one favor
And shut up about ur iPhone

'Cuz I've already seen 1
and I'm aware of what they can do
It takes a camera, it takes a phone it takes a portable media player
To be good enough for u
And ur fuckin' iPhone

I'll pay 4 the coffee
It's on me
But I don't like coffee
Especially
Coffee that isn't free

So tonight do me
This one favor
And put away ur iPhone

'Cuz I've already seen 1
and I'm aware of what they can do
It takes a camera, it takes a phone it takes a portable media player
Just to get this date with you
And ur gorram iPhone

So tonight do me,
This is the part of the song where girls usually wanna do me

But u know what, iPhone girl? Y don't I just take u home
It's getting kinda late, and I gotta be up early in the morning at 3:30 in the afternoon

...and I've already seen a naked gurl
I'm aware of what they can do
I'm taking my phone, I'm taking my camera, I'm taking my portable media player
All I'm leaving behind is you
And your stupid iPhone

So go make love to ur iPhone
Oh, it doesn't support that feature, now does it?
But I know you're stupid little phone has got a nifty web browser
So get on Craigslist and check out the casual encounters
Track Name: Space/Time Continuum
This isn't about me
This isn't about you
This is about the space/time continuum

You're a very nice girl,
I'm a swell guy
But I'm time displaced
And if I meet myself I'll die

I know you're in my future
Still can't leave you in the past
But time-travelers can't stick around
That's a fact

This isn't about me
This isn't about you
Got to break up for the sake of the space/time continuum

Baby, once I leave you to go back to the future, my present,
You're going to meet another guy who looks just like me
But it's not me,
That's my past self
He might ask you strange questions like,
"What's your name?" and
"Do you like it that way?"
and not know things like that you're
Deathly allergic to peanuts.
You know, things you'll think he oughta know
But you gotta remember that a completely different guy,
So don't hold all my mistakes against him
Like when I forgot your birthday or that you're
Deathly allergic to peanuts
Goddamn peanuts are in everything...

This isn't about me
This isn't about you
This is about the space/time continuum

Be-doo-boop that's my time machine
Bee-da-bup it's calling me back
Be-da-boop-ba-beep-bo-ba-dee boopums
Climb aboard, 'cuz I can't leave behind girl
I don't care it fucks up the fabric of reality!

Oh gosh darn, that's the alarm,
You know it goes, 'beep-beep-beep' You're gonna have to stay behind
While I take care of this anomaly
Track Name: Hetero-Strike
Gay or straight,
We've got to stop the hate
We've got to overturn Proposition 8
Let me explain for those from out of state

Proposition 8
Is an amendment to the state
Of California
Overturning the previously established right of homosexuals to marry

And that's not right
It's a bunch of homophobic fright tactics
And a shitload of money from the Mormon church
Yeah, those guys again

(Chorus)
I'm calling all my straight friends to say
Here's something that I don't like
Give marriage back to the gays
Or we're going on a hetero-strike
Hetero-strike

There'll be
No more straight sex and no more babies
No more straight weddings and no more dating

Fancy restaurants will go out of business
Everyone will stop going to the gym
Romantic comedies in half-empty theaters
The economy is gonna be pretty dim

(Chorus)

I'm sorry ladies
But I'm crusading for equal rights
Straight porn is still allowed,
I don't want to ruin your nights...
Steve.

"Wait a minute," you say,
"Rhune you were kind of on strike anyway"
That's not the point.
You "don't want to give up the poontang,"
You "don't want to be gay."

Well, when you go on strike from a factory
You don't get a job at a restaurant
You don't get a job at all
You just sit
And that's the best part
Track Name: Don't Go
Don't go, don't go
Just sit back at your table
You've got legs and feet,
So I know that you're able
You've got a butt too,
And you know what that's for
So sit your ass down,
While I take the floor.

Don't go, don't go
It's the start of my show
If you've already seen it
Then you already know
That you gotta wear a parka
To sit in the front row,
Because I sweat profusely
And then I start to glow

Don't go, don't go
Yeah, I'm talking to you
Besides what else are you gonna do
You're gonna go back home
And order pay-per-view
Because you checked your Tivo (tm)
And there's nothing new

Don't go, don't go
My lyrics are fabled
My harmony is strong
And my rhythm is stable
Don't go, Don't go
Or you're gonna regret it
I swear, you'll never forget it
I like my chicken wings breaded
Track Name: Bad Idea
Loving me is a bad idea
Loving me is bad for you
Loving me is a bad idea
Loving me is like junk food

Like Funyons (tm)

It's a bad idea,
But it's not the worst you ever had
It's a bad idea,
But it's not the worst you ever had

It's not my fault that you like me
It's not my fault you get bad advice from your friends
It's not my fault you can't look past my good looks
It's not my fault you got bad taste in men

Loving me is a bad idea,
But it's not the worst you ever had
It's a bad idea

Like Vietnam and Waterloo
Like Ocean's Twelve and Teen Wolf Too
If you're Katie Holmes, then I'm Tom Cruise
Good looking and rich,
But bad for you

Loving me is a bad idea,
Loving me is bad for you
Five out of five doctors agree
That it's a bad idea
To break it down right now
And play a little good ol' fashioned
Motley Crue

Loving me is a bad idea,
Loving me is bad for you
Like thinking tabloids are true
Like teaching dogs kung fu
Like golf in the nude
Or a monkey suit at the zoo
'Cuz they might think that you're a monkey
And lock you up too

It's a bad idea,
But it's not the worst you ever had
Track Name: Zombie Mamacita
Zombie Mamacita
Come sit here on my lap
Zombie Mamacita
You know that I don't like it when you bite like that

Zombie Mamacita
How did you lose that arm?
It's ok with me
You know that I don't like it when girls get too clingy

Zombie Mamacita
Hottest in the swarm
Zombie Mamacita
She do everything at night except keep me warm

Zombie Mamacita
Zombiddy-mom-de-mom-nom-mom-mom-momma-nom-mom-mamacita

Hopefully, she's not a zombie lolita
That would be even more illegal
Track Name: Ho Can't Find the Phone
I saw her at the party
Wearing a Harry Potter (tm) hat
I told myself, "No nerd girls tonight,"
Especially not a Ravenclaw (tm)
In a hat like that

And then a 7 and 7, and a 7 and 7 and a 7 and 7 later
I was chomping on her neck like a horny alligator

Now cutie's got my number,
But the ho can't find the phone
But the ho can't find the phone

Oh, cutie, she used me
I got used 'cuz I was cute
It turns out even a fly-booty cutie has sometimes got to use a dude

And then a 7 and 7, and a 7 and 7 and a 7 and 7 later
I'm punching it up as a one night stand in my horny calculator

Now cutie's got my number,
But the ho can't find the phone
No, the ho can't find the phone
No, the ho can't find the telephone

(gibberish)

No telephone for the ho,
All the hos I know I have telephones
Why don't you go down the the Verizon Store and just get one?
Track Name: Monster Slayer
Call me Rhune the monster slayer
Killing those monsters like I just don't care
I've been to space,
I've been to Hell,
Killing those monsters and killing them well

I come to town,
And you've got a frown,
But we can get the party started,
Once I beat the monster down

I don't play hookie,
I ain't no rookie,
I'll stop the cookie monster
Taking all your cookies

I tip my cap,
And I take a nap,
Then I wait for it, wait for it
Snap
There goes my trap

Yeah, you can call me Rhune, the monster slayer
Killing those monsters like I just don't care
I've been to the moon,
I've been under water
Every time I kill a monster makes you hotter and hotter

You've got a monster that's making you scared,
Living in your home and setting up a lair?
I'll be there
Pulling on its hair

And you can call me anytime
You've got a monster problem,
But only if you're single and you're fine, fine, fine

I take no sass,
I hack and slash
There's no free pass
If you're a monster,

I'm gonna bust a cap
In your ass, ass, ass
All the ladies in the house,
Shake that ass, ass, ass
That was unrelated,
And ill-fated
'Cuz when you shake that ass,
A boogie monster is created

Good thing you can call me Rhune, the lady slayer
Slaying those ladies like I just don't care
I fly them to the moon,
I be their candle on the water
Every time I slay a monster makes me hotter and hotter
Track Name: AFK
My baby's gone
My baby's gone away,
She's not at her keyboard, no
She's afk

I don't know what I'm gonna do,
But I can always,
Download some Vanessa Hudgens porn

My baby's gone
My baby's gone away,
She's not at her keyboard, no
She's afk
Track Name: Rock Discreetly
I like to rock discreetly
While everyone is in bed
Sometimes I just rock out
In my head

Rock
Rock

What time is it?
Oh, I think it's rock o'clock
It's rock o'clock
It's rock o'clock

We're gonna rock you to sleep
We're gonna rock you to sleep
Don't make a peep

Don't care if it's past your bedtime
'Cuz this is a fucking lullaby

Oh, I've lost my watch
What time is it?
Is it lunchtime? Is it bedtime?
No.

It's rock o'clock
It's rock o'clock

We're gonna rock you to sleep
We're gonna rock you to sleep
Don't make a peep

Don't care if it's past your bedtime
'Cuz this is a fucking lullaby, anyway

We're gonna rock you to sleep
We're gonna rock you to sleep
Don't make a peep
Track Name: Get Fucked Up
On another planet,
Do you think,
There are other kinds of people?
Not really people, but more like aliens?

And do you think,
Given a similar climate and resources,
That they have figured out a way of making alcoholic drinks?

Because no matter what your species or biology sometimes
We all got to get fucked up

Fucked up

'Cuz you've got payments on your spacecar
And alimony to your ex-space-wife,
And you're paying space-child support
For your space-child kids
On another planet

It's fucked up
It's fucked up
Fucked up
Track Name: With Your Girlfriend
You’re girlfriend is a fox,
But you know I’d never go near her
Unfortunately, she happens to be the
Last fertile girl on Earth and I’m the only fertile guy
So we’ll have to mess around
For survival

For the species
I’m getting freaky
With your girlfriend, with your girl
But I swear it won’t be
Particularly passionately
With your girlfriend, with your girlfriend, with your girlfriend
The fallout of nuclear war is that,
No one else can "do it" anymore

I don’t want to do it,
I say “It should have been you, buddy”
But you were too close to the blast,
You radioactivated your ass
And no one wants a dad,
With irradiated nads
Our hopes rest on…

My donation
Towards procreation
With your girlfriend, with your girl
But I swear it won’t be
Particularly passionately
With your girlfriend, with your girlfriend with your girlfriend
Too bad all those other dudes
Got wiped out by the nukes

It's best not to think about where I was when the bombs hit
Or where your girlfriend was for that matter
And it's definitely for the best that you don't watch the security tapes from the vault
Foerver

It’s a worst-case scenario
She’s like a nine out of ten (and I’m used to tens)
They say we can make only one baby every nine months
But with the sperm like mine,
She thinks she can pop out eight at a time

So come here you multi-mommy,
And let’s make some itty bitty mommies,
We gotta wait ‘til they’re full grown mommies to make them mommy-mommies
Mommy, mommy, mommy, ooo-ooo-ooo

And we’ll call her Mommy: Prime
Because she’s everybody’s mommy
And the kids look kind of ugly,
But in their little hands…

They can bring me pineapples and coconuts
And oranges and mango fruits,
You know I love my mango fruits
Passionately-a hey hey

With your Girlfriend, with your girlfriend, with your girlfriend
With your Girlfriend, with your mom, and with your girlfriend
With your Girlfriend, with your girlfriend, with your girlfriend
Track Name: Handjobs and Driving
You've got one hand on the wheel
You've got one hand on the stick
I hate to disappoint you baby,
But handjobs and driving don't mix
No, handjobs and driving don't mix

You've got one eye on the road
You've got one eye on the payload
When we practiced in bed, this went off without a hitch

But handjobs and driving don't mix
No, handjobs and driving
They don't don't don't don't mix

No, no, no, no, no, no

Handjobs and driving don't mix
No, handjobs and driving don't mix

And you know it's a long road, it's a long road,
It's a long, long road
And hitchhikers start to look good, yeah
But don't go, no, you can't go
Down that road
'Cuz you don't know where that hand has been
It's like shaving while you're brushing your teeth, they don't mix

No, handjobs and driving don't mix
No, handjobs and driving
They don't don't don't don't mix