Space.
The cosmos.
The celestial bodies that grant us life.
Have lives themselves.
You’re playing outside with your buddies on the street.
You’re loving the summertime and soaking up the heat.
The rising temperatures are no cause for alarm.
That’s just the apocalypse trying to keep you warm.
Because the sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
And you’re gonna burn.
Some day sooner than you might think,
You’re gonna want sunglasses and an ice cold drink.
Everyone you know is gonna die.
Yeah, your momma and your daddy and your granny gonna fry.
Invite the neighbors over.
It’ll be a red giant, but not a supernova.
When the sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
And you’re gonna burn.
Now scientists hypothesize that we could buy some time,
By burning up Jupiter in the sun.
We’d have to push it with a rocket ship the size of the Earth,
And when it got there, it would be too late.
Thanks for nothing science.
Scientists are stupid.
The sun’s just gonna blow up,
And that means,
You can talk back to your teacher and ignore your mom and dad,
Santa’s burning too, so know one cares if you’ve been bad.
Fuck homework; play Nintendo while you can,
Or grab a beer, sit back, and get yourself a tan.
Because when the sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
And you’re gonna burn.
Everybody all together now.
The sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
The sun is gonna blow up,
And you’re gonna burn.
Like a grease fire, like a molotov, like the Hindenburg, like Napalm,
Like the time I drove to Arizona and forgot to put my sunscreen on,
You’re gonna burn,
Like a pasty white guy in the desert.
The sun will make toast of you like Hiroshima,
Like Ghost Rider, it’ll roast the ghost of you,
Like a Human Torch that never “Flames Off,”
The climate’s gonna be the opposite of Hoth.
Like the stare you’d get from Superman if you walked in while he was jerking off,
You’re gonna burn.
That’s right kids.
Fucking burn.
credits
from Squirrelmageddon,
released September 27, 2017
Written and Performed by Rhune Kincaid
