rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 9 Jun 2012
Don't know if my upstairs neighbors are in a "50 Shades of Grey" situation or not, but I'm thinking at least 47.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid Sep 10 2014
"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, learn a real instrument" by Snob Dylan
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid Feb 4 2014
I like any rap song where the background guys all go "Heyyyy" with a descending glissando. Magnifique!
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 25 Apr 2016
If prunes are dried plums then WTF IS PRUNE JUICE?
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 2 May 2012
Wow, it's already been a year since the royal wedding?!?!? Still don't give a fuck.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 16 May 2015
I go to the dollar store so much that I now think of the regular grocery store as the "wildly varying prices store."
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 21 Apr 2015
How come when people take selfies with groups of people we don't call them groupies oh that's why.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid · Aug 2 2014
Average human penis = 5.8". Average gorilla penis = 1.5". Dawn of the Rise of what now?
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid · Nov 22 2014
The cool thing about @Tinder is you don't waste time on people who don't like you. The uncool thing about @Tinder is that nobody likes you.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid May 22 2015
Sometimes I think my cats are like my little babies, but then I'm like "Man, they have mustaches, babies don't have mustaches."
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 17 Nov 2013
Being a person is harder than it looks.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid · Sep 1 2014
The best thing about leaked celebrity nudes is how they reassure me that even rich, successful people suffer from unsightly, cluttery homes.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 17 Mar 2013
Just be yourself unless, y'know, you've got a lot of undesirable qualities.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 19 Apr 2013
When @tearsforfears gets so drunk they decide to go hunting, they turn into Beers for Deers.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 1 Jul 2013
When @tearsforfears makes jokes at the expense of other bands, they become Jeers for Peers.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 31 Jan 2015
When @tearsforfears loudly proclaim that they are not “butt men” they become sneers for rears.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 25 Apr 2015
When @tearsforfears cast a sidelong glance upon a herd of cattle, they become leers for steers.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid 12 Nov 2016
Sad that @tearsforfears hasn't engaged w/ my ingenious tweets re: how their name can be made 2 rhyme w/other things.
rhunekincaid @rhunekincaid Jul 21 2016
My CD is now available at Amoeba music. In fact, if you find where I hid it, they'll probably let you walk out with it for free.
credits
from Squirrelmageddon,
released September 27, 2017
Written and Performed by Rhune Kincaid
