“Lesbionicle Chronicle”
by Rhune Kincaid and Diana Van De Kamp
Diana:
I’ve got Joanie from Mad Men in my sights,
And Kate Upton in a lingerie pillow fight.
I bet Mila Kunis would be fun in the sack,
And who do I have to bang for a chance to grab ScarJo’s rack?
I wanna brush Olivia Wilde’s hair.
Sofia Vergara that’s a mighty fine pair.
But that’s like saying that the sky is blue,
And Emily Ratajkowski, that doesn’t rhyme with anything.
I’m not gay,
But I’m watching the WBNA,
And I’m flipping through Maxim all day.
Rhune:
She wants to switch teams if you know what I mean,
She wants to switch teams.
Yeah.
Diana:
I wanna get to second base,
With Natalie Dormer’s face,
I wanna send Megan Fox,
To my penalty box,
I’ve seen some Olivia Munn, but,
I want it all,
I wanna bounce Beyonce’s butt like a basketball.
Rhune:
What?
Diana:
I’m not gay,
But I’m joining the LPGA.
And I’m on Mr. Skin all day.
Rhune:
She wants to switch teams for a couple of screams.
She wants to switch sides for a couple of rides.
She wants to switch squads and bang some broads.
Yeah.
Diana:
What about you Rhune? Are there any fellas you’d like to get busy with in the bedroom?
Rhune:
Uh, not really.
Diana:
Well, what about Matthew McConaughey? He’s so handsome.
Rhune:
I might bang his little butthole?
Diana:
Oh, dear. What about Johnny Depp? He seems real smart.
Rhune:
I might bang his little butthole?
Diana:
Do you have any more romantic fantasies? I feel like I’ve been really specific about mine. What about Channing Tatum?
Rhune:
I’d bang his little butthole.
If she gets her alone, she’ll try to bone Emma Stone.
Diana:
I don’t need no wang to bang Jessica Lang.
And hump Halle Berry’s boulders,
Rhune:
Or Cobie Smoulders shoulders.
Diana:
Have a spark in the dark with Emilia Clark.
Rhune:
Khaleesi!
Yabba-dabba, Wilma, Betty, yabba-dabba-doo.
Diana:
Zooey Deschanel!
Rhune:
And Emily too.
She squeals just to feels up Jessica’s Biels
Diana:
On a scavenger hunt for Emily Blunt’s cu…
Rhune:
Woah!
Diana:
What?
Rhune:
I gotta put one of those stickers on the album now.
Diana:
Oh. Oops.
I’m not gay,
But I’m down for some field hockey.
And I don’t even know how to play.
Rhune:
She wants to switch teams if you know what I mean,
She’s giving up “His and Hers” for scissors.
She’s switching to babes to tickle some labes.
Saphy, saphy.
This is a Lesbionicle Chronicle.
credits
from Squirrelmageddon,
released September 27, 2017
Written and Performed by Rhune Kincaid and Diana Van De Kamp
