I'll pay 4 the show
Even though
I don't like shows
Especially the shows that u like to go to

So tonight do me
This one favor
And shut up about ur iPhone

'Cuz I've already seen 1
and I'm aware of what they can do
It takes a camera, it takes a phone it takes a portable media player
To be good enough for u
And ur fuckin' iPhone

I'll pay 4 the coffee
It's on me
But I don't like coffee
Especially
Coffee that isn't free

So tonight do me
This one favor
And put away ur iPhone

'Cuz I've already seen 1
and I'm aware of what they can do
It takes a camera, it takes a phone it takes a portable media player
Just to get this date with you
And ur gorram iPhone

So tonight do me,
This is the part of the song where girls usually wanna do me

But u know what, iPhone girl? Y don't I just take u home
It's getting kinda late, and I gotta be up early in the morning at 3:30 in the afternoon

...and I've already seen a naked gurl
I'm aware of what they can do
I'm taking my phone, I'm taking my camera, I'm taking my portable media player
All I'm leaving behind is you
And your stupid iPhone

So go make love to ur iPhone
Oh, it doesn't support that feature, now does it?
But I know you're stupid little phone has got a nifty web browser
So get on Craigslist and check out the casual encounters